


We Slip and Slide

by flowerfan



Category: Glee
Genre: Glee Twist Fest, M/M, Wonder-ful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-24
Updated: 2014-01-24
Packaged: 2018-01-09 21:34:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1151046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowerfan/pseuds/flowerfan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the Glee Twist Fest (prompt:  what if Holly Holiday came back?)</p><p>Kurt wonders why Sam needs advice from Holly Holiday, and his fears interfere with his desire to let Blaine know how he is feeling about their mending relationship.  Set around 4x20 - Wonder-ful.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Slip and Slide

“So, just talk to her about it,” Santana said into her phone, as she flopped down on the couch next to Kurt. “I know she’ll have some excellent ideas…” she said in a low voice, then paused. “Trouty, stop being a baby and just do it. I’ve got to go, this pasta won’t cook itself.”

“Pasta?” Kurt asked, looking at Santana, who obviously wasn’t anywhere near the stove.

“No,” Santana scoffed. “Do you see me cooking anything? I had to get him off the phone. Sam will babble forever if you let him. He’s like a twelve year old girl, always wanting to talk about his feeeeelings…” Santana grabbed the remote out of Kurt’s hand. “My turn to pick.”

“So did you have any good advice for Sam?” Kurt was curious. He hadn’t realized Santana and Sam were even close, much less that Sam was confiding in her.

“I told him to talk to Hilarious Holiday. She’ll listen to him – she’ll even look patient while she does it.” 

“Holly Holiday? The substitute?” Kurt looked quizzically at Santana.

“Yeah, apparently she’s back doing sex ed again at McKinley. And Sam sure can use some.”

“Santana!”

“Calm down, it’s nothing kinky. She was actually really cool to me and Britt junior year. Helped us talk about our feeeeeelings.”

“What’s Sam need to talk to her about?”

Santana opened her mouth to answer, then closed it again. She looked at Kurt apologetically. “Sam told me in confidence and I actually think I’m going to keep it, well, confidential.” Santana looked down and laughed quietly. “Shocker, I know.”

Later that night, Kurt tossed and turned, unable to fall asleep. He couldn’t stop thinking about Santana telling Sam to talk to Holly Holiday. What did Sam tell Santana in confidence? What type of sex related problems could he be having? The same kind that Santana and Brittany had talked to Ms. Holiday about? Kurt remembered all the “Blam” jokes Tina made that weekend at Mr. Schue’s non-wedding, and how Blaine would always blush with shy delight when Sam wrapped his arm around his shoulder. He knew Blaine had had a pointless crush on Sam during the winter, but what if it wasn’t pointless? What if Sam was bi, or gay, just like Kurt had suspected back when Sam first joined New Directions?

Relax, he told himself. Not a big deal. You and Blaine aren’t together, it would be great if Sam and Blaine got together, right? His heart sank just thinking about it. Of course it wouldn’t be great. Because he wanted to be with Blaine, even if he wasn’t quite ready to tell him that. Most of the time Kurt thought that Blaine knew it anyway, could see right into him and tell that he was almost there, almost ready to leap again, almost ready to risk his heart for the one person who could hurt him like no one else ever had. The only person he ever wanted to give his heart to, would ever want to give his heart to. But what if Blaine didn’t know? Or what if he got tired of waiting? Would Blaine want to be with Sam? Sweet, hunky, gorgeous Sam, who had been there for Blaine all year when Kurt was far away, leaving him all alone and feeling like no one cared?

Kurt moaned and twisted around under the covers. This was terrible. Blaine had to know how he felt about him. And if he didn’t, Kurt was just going to have get over himself and show him. Because no way in hell was he going to lose the love of his life to Sam Evans.

The next morning Kurt’s bravado of the night before seemed to have been smothered in New York smog. He wanted to reach out to Blaine and show him how he felt, but he felt paralyzed. While they had gotten more and more comfortable with each other lately, especially since the wedding weekend, Kurt still felt awkward being anything but platonically friendly with Blaine. Except for a few late-night Skype sessions where lack of sleep had relaxed his inhibitions, which were never mentioned by either of them after the fact. Maybe this didn’t call for sexy talk, though. That would be too easy to brush off as hormones. He cringed when he remembered what he had said to Mercedes that weekend as he and Blaine climbed out of the car, straightening their clothes. “Everyone hooks up at weddings, Mercedes.” As if anything with Blaine could ever be just a hook-up. Blaine knew it wasn’t – he even said so in the hotel room before they went back downstairs. He knew that nothing between them was meaningless. Now Kurt just had to let Blaine know that he knew it, too.

Before he left for school that morning, Kurt took a quick picture of his coffee mug on the table in the loft. He sent it to Blaine, quickly typing out a message and sending it before he could change his mind. “Hate drinking coffee alone – wish you were here.”

A few minutes later Kurt was rewarded with a text from Blaine, “me too,” and a picture of the empty passenger seat of his car. 

Heart beating faster, Kurt sent another text. “Want to come to Friday night dinner at my house? My flight gets in around four o’clock so I should be home in time.” Kurt was spending his spring break in Lima, so that he could be with his dad for his next doctor’s appointment. But call him a bad son, thoughts of cancer were the last thing on his mind as he waited for Blaine’s reply.

“I’d love to! See you then,” Blaine texted back.

Wait, did that mean that Blaine didn’t want to talk to him until Friday? But it was only Tuesday. Of course, talking only every few days had been kind of the norm until now. Kurt needed to give this some more thought. He glanced at his watch. Blaine’s first class was about to start, that’s probably why he needed to stop texting. Nothing to worry about.

\---

That afternoon Kurt talked to his dad about his plans for the weekend. Confused, he sent Blaine another text. 

From Kurt: Why didn’t you tell me you were already coming to Friday night dinner?

From Blaine: Why didn’t I tell you that I always go to Friday night dinner at your house, or why didn’t I say anything this morning when you asked?

From Blaine: Because I was really happy that you asked.

From Kurt: You’re awesome for looking after my dad. And I’m happy I asked, too.

Kurt felt warm all over as he replied. He hoped Blaine was feeling it, too. He thought he might be. One way to find out, he thought, pulling out his phone.

“Kurt?”

“Hi.” All of a sudden Kurt didn’t know what to say.

“Hi. What’s up?”

“Um, just wanted to say hi.” Wait, talk about his dad. Safe topic. “Thanks, really, for looking after my dad. How did I not know you always go over for dinner on Fridays?” Kurt paused, feeling his stomach twist. Had he been spacing out when Blaine told him things again? Was he not paying attention? “Did I really miss that?”

“No, you totally didn’t miss anything.” Blaine paused. “Don’t be mad, okay? But your dad and I decided not to mention it to you. I didn’t know if you’d like me being at your house, and I didn’t want to bug you.”

“Blaine! How could I mind you taking care of my dad?”

“Well, gee, maybe because you weren’t talking to me, and pretty much hated me, and didn’t want anything to do with me,” Blaine said sadly. “I didn’t deserve your dad.”

“What do you mean, I wasn’t talking to you?” Kurt asked, even more confused, tucking away the “I didn’t deserve your dad” comment for another time. “When did this start?”

“A few weeks before Thanksgiving,” Blaine said softly. “You dad called me up to see how I was doing.” Kurt could hear Blaine taking funny little breaths. “I kind of fell apart on the phone, and he told me to get my ass over to your house for dinner so we could talk.”

Kurt’s throat felt tight. It didn’t start with Blaine taking care of his dad; it was his dad taking care of Blaine. “I love you, you know.” There just wasn’t anything else to say, there really wasn’t.

“I love you too,” Blaine sighed. 

And there it was. That sigh. It was Blaine accepting that the “love” between them was just platonic love, something Kurt said to comfort Blaine, just an echo of what used to be between them. How could he let him know that it wasn’t just an echo, it was a lifeline?

“Shit,” Blaine exclaimed. “I’m sorry Kurt, I’ve got to go. I promised my mom I’d be home for dinner tonight, I should have left school already.”

“You’re still at school?”

“In the parking lot. I was about to leave when you called.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize. Go ahead, tell your mom hi for me.” Kurt didn’t want to get off the phone, but there wasn’t much he could do about it now. Blaine was fastidious about not talking on the phone while driving, and for good reason.

“Wait, Blaine?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m really looking forward to seeing you Friday.” He tried to convey how serious he was about this. What did “looking forward” even mean, really? Maybe he just should have said he couldn’t wait, because that was true, too. Kurt wondered if a person could actually send the depth of their feeling through a phone line, like a particularly sincere sound wave.

As these thoughts raced around Kurt’s head, he realized Blaine still hadn’t said anything. He hoped they hadn’t gotten disconnected.

“I’m really looking forward to seeing you too,” Blaine said quietly, but with a new tone to it, warmth and love with a drizzling of hope.

Yup, Kurt thought. Right through the phone line. 

\---

Friday couldn’t come fast enough for Kurt. He didn’t have any classes on Fridays, and had made arrangements for someone to cover for him at the diner, so all he had to do that day was finish packing and get himself to the airport on time. Between worry over his dad, and excitement and terror about seeing Blaine again, he thought for sure he was going to explode.

Rachel breezed back and forth around the loft, sticking her head around his curtain every so often to ask him a question about a skit she was working on for class. His monotone answers finally got to be too much for her, however, and she barged in and flopped down on his bed, causing all of the clothes he had carefully laid out to bounce and slide.

“Rachel! Can’t you see I’m packing?”

“Kurt, what I see is someone not packing. Because packing usually involves actually putting things in a suitcase, and you have been in here for hours and your suitcase is empty.”

“I’m trying to decide what to bring.”

“One suggestion, if I may? No one needs that many pairs of blue socks.” Rachel raised her eyebrows at the light blue socks lined up along the edge of the bed. 

“No need to raise your eyebrows at me, Rachel.” Kurt wondered, not for the first time, if she and Blaine were actually twins separated at birth. “My feet, my socks,” Kurt declared. “No one tells me what color socks to wear.”

“Sure, this coming from the man who secretly disposed of most of my sweaters under the guise of giving to charity.”

“The only lie I told that weekend is that they were going to charity, Rachel. Those sweaters were too hideous to give to another person.”

Rachel slapped him playfully on the arm, and then glanced back at the socks. “Really, Kurt, what’s going on?” She scooped up the socks and started counting. “You’ve got tons of them here. Have you given up on laundry? Because learning how the washer and dryer work is challenging, but it is one of the formative experiences of being in college.”

“Give those back,” Kurt insisted, grabbing them out of Rachel’s hands. 

“Wait, what’s that?” Rachel reached over and pulled something out of the pile of socks. “It’s a bow tie!” It was light blue with tiny dark blue polka dots. “Very nice.”

“It’s for Blaine,” Kurt said softly. “Give it.”

Rachel looked curiously at Kurt as she handed the bow tie gently back to him. “You really miss him, don’t you?”

Kurt nodded, and Rachel pulled him into a hug. “It’s going to be okay,” she said, rubbing his back. “Just, just tell him, okay? I think he needs to know.”

“I do tell him. As best as I’ve been able to, I’ve been trying. But I don’t know if he hears what I’m saying.”

“Well, then, you’ll just have to say it more clearly.”

\---

Dinner was perfect. Well, almost perfect. No, not perfect at all. His dad and Carole were obviously glad to have him home, and seeing Blaine smile at him when Kurt answered the door – and pretty much continuously thereafter – was a wonderful welcome home present. But what he hadn’t anticipated was Sam. This was silly, of course, since Sam was still living with his dad and Carole. He had no idea how he had managed to overlook the fact that Sam would be at dinner too.

It wasn’t as if Sam being there was a problem. He liked Sam, and frankly he eased the tension that might have cropped up if he was left to worry about his dad with just Carole and Blaine for company – both award winning worriers. But it was hard seeing how comfortable Sam and Blaine were together. They sang snippets of some parody song as they cut up the vegetables Blaine brought over for a salad. They set the table together in easy harmony, as if they had done it dozens of times before, repeating what sounded like familiar arguments about where to put the salad bowls and whether it was too soon to put out the ice water (because if you put it out too soon, the ice will melt, Sam, Blaine said in a sing-song voice). When it was time they both hopped up to get dessert, joking and laughing together at some incomprehensible superhero thing as they counted out clean forks and inquired as to how many people wanted decaf coffee. They just fit. And this was what he was worried about.

Kurt found himself staring at Sam, trying to decipher whether his carefree touches were focused on Blaine (he patted Blaine’s arm – did he pat my arm? Has he ever patted my arm?) or distributed evenly among everyone. This didn’t help his mood, though, as he quickly realized how frequently Sam did in fact touch Blaine, and how casually Blaine touched him back. Nothing really inappropriate, obviously, but Sam clearly had never behaved that way towards Kurt. In fact, Kurt probably would have jumped ten feet off the floor if he had. He could swear Sam actually slapped Blaine’s butt at one point when Blaine walked by him, clearing the table. Blaine seemed to take it in stride, laughing and pushing Sam back, giving him a playful shove to the shoulder to emphasize a point.

After dinner, Burt and Carole made their excuses and headed upstairs. Sam dashed after Blaine as he headed down the hall to the bathroom, whispering something in his ear before he yelled a good night back to Kurt.

Blaine returned a few minutes later, standing uneasily at the entrance to the living room where Kurt sat waiting for him. It occurred to Kurt that much of Sam’s playfulness that night might have been his attempt to make the evening easier for Blaine. Kurt stood up and took Blaine’s hand, his heart jumping at the light in Blaine’s eyes when he looked into his own. “Hi,” he breathed, reminded of how he felt earlier that week on the phone with Blaine, as if he wanted to say everything in the world but couldn’t think of a single thing to say.

“Hi,” Blaine answered, smiling tentatively. “Um, so, I guess I’ll say goodnight?”

“Do you have to? I mean, you can stay and watch a movie with me. If you want to.”

“Do you want me to?”

“I must be really terrible at this if you can’t tell how much I want you to,” Kurt said softly.

Blaine’s breath hitched and his smile got stronger. “You said that out loud, you know.”

Kurt blushed and patted the couch next to him. “Shut up and come here.”

As Blaine settled down on the couch, leaving a few inches between himself and Kurt, Kurt reached over to the table and picked up a small box. “This is for you.”

“Kurt?” Blaine’s eyes widened in surprise. “What’s this for?”

“Just open it.”

As Blaine unwrapped the silky light blue bow tie and turned it over in his hands, his eyes flickered down to Kurt’s light blue socked foot, which was propped up on the couch between them. “It’s beautiful, Kurt, thank you.”

“I know you can’t come with us to my dad’s appointment on Monday, but I thought maybe you could wear it anyway.” 

Blaine took Kurt’s hand in his. “I’d be honored to. It’s perfect, like a summer sky. Hope, and happiness, and good thoughts.”

“You don’t think I’m crazy?” Kurt wiped his eye as a tear threatened to fall.

“Not at all.” Blaine shuffled a little bit closer to Kurt until their knees touched. “Your dad is going to be fine, Kurt. He’s strong. And he’s got you to support him, and Carole, and everyone else.”

“Including you.”

“Including me,” Blaine nodded.

Kurt took a deep breath and squeezed Blaine’s hand. “So, what movie do you want to watch?”

\---

For the next few days Kurt’s increasing stress over his father’s upcoming appointment made it difficult for him to think about anything else. But he still managed to keep up a pretty regular stream of texts with Blaine, who was busy with extra Glee rehearsals and some kind of major history project. Kurt regretted not being able to make any progress towards letting Blaine know how he felt, but his emotions were so messed up that he didn’t think he could handle worrying about his relationship with Blaine on top of his dad’s heath. He knew Blaine was worried about how he was doing, but thankfully he didn’t press him, not even when his sugar packet sorting at the Lima Bean caught his attention. Blaine just squeezed his hand, and gave him one of his comforting smiles, letting him know it was okay to be scared. 

Finally the appointment came, and with the amazing news about his dad’s cancer being in remission, Kurt was able to breathe again. That night after dinner his dad caught him as he was about to start washing dishes. “Kurt, take a break, why don’t you. Give Blaine a call or something. Carole and I can take care of this.”

“Blaine’s got a piano lesson tonight,” Sam commented, carrying plates over from the table. “But I think it only goes until seven.”

Of course you know his schedule, Kurt thought to himself, then immediately felt bad. “Thanks, Sam.” Kurt sent Blaine a quick text, and went up to his room to wait. But when Blaine finally replied around seven-thirty, he said he couldn’t get together, he still had homework to do. Kurt didn’t want to just leave things there, so he suggested dinner the next night, and Blaine agreed.

Kurt went to bed before ten, exhausted from his days of worrying, and woke up bright and early. He puttered around in the kitchen, making a batch of whole wheat muffins with blueberries and orange zest, and making sure there was plenty of decaf coffee. Just before seven Sam dashed down the stairs, his gym bag over his shoulder.

“Sam, want a muffin?” 

“No thanks, dude, can’t eat right before a workout. But can I take a couple for me and Blaine to eat later?”

“You and Blaine?”

“Yeah, we’re hitting the gym before school. Usually we go a few times a week, but this week our schedule got messed up.” Sam bounced over to the cabinet and pulled out a plastic bag, holding it open for Kurt to drop two muffins into it. He peered out the window. “There is he now. See you later!”

Kurt looked out to see Sam get into Blaine’s Prius. He watched as Blaine carefully backed the car out of the driveway, and drove off down the street. Kurt pulled out his phone and thought for a minute before sending Blaine a text.

From Kurt: Working out with Sam? Must be quite a treat.

Kurt was annoyed at Blaine, although he knew he didn’t have any reason to be. As soon as he sent the text he realized he was being childish, but he couldn’t take it back. Blaine didn’t reply right away – he was driving – but it wasn’t much longer before Kurt’s phone beeped.

From Blaine: ??

From Kurt: I’m just being honest. You can be too.

From Blaine: Kurt, what’s going on?

From Blaine: Are you jealous?

From Kurt: Should I be?

From Blaine: Let’s talk later. This is weird.

\---

It turned out that Blaine’s parents were going to be out for the evening, so Blaine suggested that they get take out and have dinner at his house. They still felt people’s eyes on them when they were out together, even if they weren’t dating, and frankly it was just more comfortable most of the time to be somewhere safe and private. Kurt was especially glad they weren’t going out, since he felt like he needed to come clean with Blaine, and he wanted to be somewhere private so that they could talk. Whatever plan he had concocted for making sure Blaine knew he was still interested wasn’t working. He was too thrown all by all of this Sam stuff, and he needed to figure out what was really going on. If he kept screwing up he was going to wind up pushing Blaine away when he was trying to do just the opposite. 

Blaine already had the Thai food on the table when Kurt arrived. They talked a little bit as they ate, but everything felt awkward. After Kurt caught Blaine sneaking a glance at his watch, he stifled his immediate reaction (waiting for a call from Sam?) and forced himself to calm down. 

“Blaine?” Kurt said nervously.

“Yeah?” Blaine looked up, surprised at the change in Kurt’s tone.

“Can we be done with dinner? I know I’ve been weird, and… I guess I need to talk to you about something.”

“Sure, Kurt.” Blaine put down his knife and fork, and began closing up the food containers. They took a minute to put everything away in the refrigerator and place the dishes in the sink, then went into the living room.

Blaine sat down on the couch and Kurt perched himself in an armchair, facing Blaine. “I was so looking forward to seeing you,” Kurt started, unsure of how to get this out.

“And then?” Blaine said softly. “Not what you expected?”

“No – I mean yes, it is wonderful to see you, always. More than wonderful.”

“But?”

Kurt took a deep breath. “I keep thinking there’s something going on with you and Sam. And if there is, that’s totally fine, I mean, we’re not, you know, you can do whatever you want, Sam’s a great guy. But it’s affecting me more than I thought it would. And I need to apologize, because I’m acting like a jealous idiot, and it’s not what I meant for this week to be like at all.”

Blaine looked puzzled. “Me and Sam? Why would you think that?”

“Um, just because everyone in Lima can’t stop talking about Blam? You guys are together all the time, you finish each other’s sentences, you’re as cute as two dorky bugs in a rug.”

“I’m not dorky, Kurt.” Blaine looked offended. “And Sam’s straight. There’s nothing romantic going on.”

“Fine, well then why is he talking to Ms. Holiday? “

Blaine looked confused. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“He called Santana to get advice, and she told him to talk to Ms. Holiday. Just like Santana did when she was trying to understand her feelings for Brittany. It’s exactly the same!” Kurt’s voice got higher as he spoke, ending in a little squeal. Great, he thought, very attractive.

The puzzlement on Blaine’s face faded into fond amusement, and he slid forward, placing his hands on Kurt’s knees. “That’s not why he went to talk to Ms. Holiday, Kurt. She’s teaching a class – Safe Sex for Seniors. Except she calls it Scandalous Sex for Seniors. All the seniors have to take it, and then she schedules meetings with us to go over individual questions. It’s actually a pretty good class.”

“But what was Sam talking to Santana about?”

“You promise to keep this to yourself?” Blaine waited until Kurt nodded his assent, and then went on. “Unique. Sam and I thought it would be good for her to talk to Ms. Holiday. Unique’s been dealing with a lot of stuff. I don’t want to go into it, but Ms. Holiday is really good at talking about sensitive issues and we thought she could help. But Unique wasn’t sure she could, you know, because Ms. Holiday’s class was just for seniors and they’d never even talked to each other before. So Sam went in with her after school one day, just to introduce them.”

“So Sam wasn’t confessing his feelings for you?”

“No, Kurt,” Blaine laughed. “He doesn’t need Ms. Holiday for that. We talk about our feelings all the time. Sam’s good for me that way, he doesn’t let me get away with hiding things.” Blaine sat back and looked into Kurt’s eyes, making his heart jump. “I promise you, Sam and I are just friends. And not ‘just friends’ like you keep saying you and I are. Actually just friends.” 

“You don’t think we’re just friends?”

“You know I don’t.”

Kurt bit his lip, and moved over to sit next to Blaine on the couch, tucking one leg up underneath him and turning towards Blaine. “I promised myself I was going to come clean with you tonight. But I’m nervous,” he whispered, looking down at his foot. He was wearing another pair of blue socks, he figured it couldn’t do any harm. And he knew Blaine understood. He always understood. 

“What are you nervous about?” Blaine asked quietly.

“I miss you. Really, really miss you. Not just you as my friend, but everything.”

Blaine’s smile spread across his whole face and lit up his eyes. “Me too, Kurt.” He paused. “But why does that make you nervous?”

Kurt knew he had to keep going, though, and this was the hard part. “I want to be with you. More than anything. But I’m not quite ready. I think I will be soon, though, if you can keep waiting for me.” Blaine looked away, and Kurt reached out to touch Blaine’s cheek, nudging him back until he was looking Kurt in the eye again. “Please say you’ll wait for me.”

Blaine blinked a few times and took a deep breath, settling back into himself with a wide smile. “I’ll wait as long as you need me to, Kurt. I have faith in us.” Blaine gave a little laugh and ran his fingers up Kurt’s arm, leaning over to whisper into his ear, “But when you hear about the tips Ms. Holiday gave me, you might not want to wait any longer!”

**Author's Note:**

> Please, please leave a comment! I'd love to hear from you.


End file.
